there's no i in fuck you

sevendueceseven @ 2008-09-07T20:41:00

2008-09-08T00:43:33Z

so instead of coming down.
im going to hawaii.

kinda sucks, cause i had it all planned.
and i really really wanted to see the person i was staying with.
but we both agree i cant pass this up.

so i leave the sept. 13th.

sevendueceseven @ 2008-08-08T06:26:00

2008-08-08T10:34:29Z

so everything is going rather well for myself.

i should be coming down mid/late sept.
beecause i want to see a rays game and their last block of at home are (the 18th-21st against the twins) im coming down around then. (even though lets face its they are making the post season.) i know those games will sell out before i even know it.

anyways back to the point.. im coimg down soon, so if anyone cares (doubt they do) im planing on going to a rays game(maybe two.) going to either busch gardens, or some place in OTOWN. and i dont know about the rest the time.
but if any one has any ideas let me know.

sevendueceseven @ 2008-07-15T16:13:00

2008-07-15T20:22:41Z

recently i was thinking how borring everything is here in NC.

i want to get out of this place so bad.
so i thought that want to go traveling.
since i have family in england, whom want me to come over...
i think maybe we could get some people together, and go over there for a week and a half. or something..
i dont know. .. im sure it sounds fucking way out there. it is.

but it will be a fucking amazing time.. is anyone down?

sevendueceseven @ 2008-06-03T00:24:00

2008-06-03T04:26:28Z

i really want people to come up this summer....

i really really really want a group to come up for warped tour...

i dont care who is in the group, i just want people to come up and kick it with me up here....

sevendueceseven @ 2008-05-26T23:10:00

2008-05-27T03:41:00Z

i am bored as shit with NC.
i had friends, and then they randomly faded, now im getting them back again.

im going over to see chris in a few weeks.
and i have been hanging out with abby more, atleast this week.
its nice..

i still want to get back to florida.... bad, but i dont think any wants me back anymore.

sevendueceseven @ 2008-04-25T19:11:00

2008-04-25T23:14:31Z

so i have been thinking.

i want to come down in june.
fuck june. i should come down in luky around warped tour (july 11th.) and kick it back a t home around then then... then.
anyone and everyone would be waelcomed to fly home with, we can do warped up here, and do the things there is for the nc..

anyone down. hit it up.

sevendueceseven @ 2008-04-09T17:08:00

2008-04-09T21:12:34Z

so ive basically given up hope for the hawaii thing.

so since i want out of this state so badly, im now re-starting to save to move back to stpete/ some place around stpete. close enough to get back easyily, yet far enough to escape it totally.

im saving to come down in june because im getting more hours at my work soon. plus im basically going to be running it for a week. so i figure a week of working 5a- till like 4-5p will load my wallet, plus making me want to the fuck out for awhile.

sevendueceseven @ 2008-03-15T00:02:00

2008-03-15T04:09:20Z

so its almost been the amount of time that it might take to get my MMD, which is through the coastguard. so since its through the government ive been trying to be as patient as possible. and with what the guy at the caost gaurd station said "with all you cruise ship people we are kinda jammed lately." in a very annoyed voice that i was wasting his his time kinda. so ive been trying to give it as much time as possible without getting annoyed like and feeling like i got my hopes up.

but its getting close to 8weeks(the guy gave it between 1-8weeks) and im starting feel like giving up. but every time i feel that way something has happened... atleast involving this job.

but the long its take the more i feel like saying fuck hawaii, get more hours at work( since we are going to start opening at night soon) i could basically be the night manager if i stay, get more money of course, and in the same amount of time if not sooner move home.

so right now im really torn, between giving up on a nearly once in a lifetime thing(if it actually ever happens.) and move home. or put my trust in a sure thing, and move home..

god damn im confused..

sevendueceseven @ 2008-02-26T15:48:00

2008-02-26T20:50:50Z

so its been like a month since i last updated/ even looked at livejournal.

still waiting to get my mmd so i can get the fuck out nc.

nothing really intresting in my life at all.
work. sleep. and kayse jones is all that is happening in my life.
o and nascar, yea, ive been here way to long.

sevendueceseven @ 2008-01-24T19:56:00

2008-01-25T00:59:21Z

so im going to do some paper work, and get sworn into the merchant mariners document on the 29th.
and thats the last thing i have to do before they call me and say there is an opening, get your ass out here......
its so crazy.

sevendueceseven @ 2008-01-07T23:30:00

2008-01-08T04:31:46Z

so i was just talking to sandyV. and for the first time was able to say my plan for the next few years perfectly... and this is how everything went down...

seantomahawk: so caitliyn works at outback right...?
sandy vaaagina: yes
seantomahawk: will you ask her how much cooks/ asssisant cooks get paid?
sandy vaaagina: she said you cant just start as a cook you work your way up. and you start at 7. she doesnt recommend outback for a cook
seantomahawk: o..
seantomahawk: even with expercience?
sandy vaaagina: thats what she said
seantomahawk: do you know anyone else who works in a restaruant?
sandy vaaagina: um yeah. are you trying to work in a restaurant over there?
seantomahawk: over where?
sandy vaaagina: nc
seantomahawk: i already work in a restaurant..
seantomahawk: im trying to figure out if i could afford to move back to florida..
seantomahawk: and be a cook.
sandy vaaagina: what happened with the cruise job
seantomahawk: its still going down..
seantomahawk: but im only doing that job to save money...
seantomahawk: and then when i have the money saved i want to move back.
sandy vaaagina: oh okay
seantomahawk: ive told you all this before..

seantomahawk: i told you ive wanted to move back since i left..
sandy vaaagina: oh i know but the cruise thing is like for months so i didnt know why you were asking about jobs already
seantomahawk: o
seantomahawk: its like 5months..
seantomahawk: and while im doing it, im going to take this online class that i signed up for awhile ago.. and try and get a vet tech degree, and then when im done in hawaii try and get a job at some up scale resturant, or at busch gardens or the aqurium..
seantomahawk: hawaii is just so can make alot of money fast, and save it so i can move back. and start my career,
seantomahawk: and life.
sandy vaaagina: gotcha
sandy vaaagina: where would you live here
seantomahawk: id either get an apartment. or if i do the hawaii thing for like 2years, i should be able to get a loan on a house if i got a real job doing one of the things i said..
sandy vaaagina: damn you got it all figured out
seantomahawk: i hope so..
seantomahawk: it all sounds good and seems good in my head.

so thats my plan. dont know how it will work out, but we shall see.

sevendueceseven @ 2007-12-14T14:24:00

2007-12-14T19:27:14Z

so im back home. and very unhappy.

last time i was down i felt out of place, and just wanted to be here.
this time everything felt great, and i didnt want to leave.

and even though i didnt get to see many people, the people i did see made the trip beautiful.

sevendueceseven @ 2007-12-06T15:15:00

2007-12-06T20:21:39Z

so i almost got totally fucked.

cause NCLA (my new job) decided to set up an appointment for me on monday december9th.
but i lucky was able have them change it.
and then i have to go back to the doctors when i get back too.
so.. (although not shocking) i passed my drug test, ive past my back ground check.
so i for sure have the job, now im just waiting to be told when they need me.

but before any of that happens, IM FUCKING COMING HOME TOMORROW!!!
i have to be at the airport here at like 4, cause my flights at 6.
then i get to hang out in the ATL airport from 720-8.
then at 930 my ass is in tampa.
i cant wait to see as many people as i can.
but right now i gotta go pack and shit, so peace..

sevendueceseven @ 2007-11-20T21:15:00

2007-11-21T02:16:17Z

im coming home....

ima be there dec7th- dec 14th.

i hope i get to see everyone i miss.

sevendueceseven @ 2007-11-18T16:26:00

2007-11-18T22:00:39Z

so i cant wait to get home for 7days.
there is so much i want to do.
and so many faces i need to see.
its going to be so amazing.

i cant wait for everyone to see how much ive changed.
how much of a better person i have become in time ive spent away.

and when i see you, i know every thing will just make sense.
(you know who you are)

sevendueceseven @ 2007-11-18T01:08:00

2007-11-18T06:15:12Z

so as retarded as this might sound.
i was just looking at myself in the mirror, and i am not uncomfortable with my body at all.. i mean i feel alittle over weight, but im ok with that.

i dont know how this is suppose to be taken.
or what this means...

but i am 110% comfortable the the body ive been given. even if you might thin that im over weight, or fat, or gross, i dont care.

i feel like i am made pefectly.
and that everything about me is the way it should be...
yea i think i need to lose some weight.. but not cause i think im fat.
because i think it would be healthly to lose some bit of wieght.

say what you will about this post... i dont care.

sevendueceseven @ 2007-11-17T15:33:00

2007-11-17T20:34:11Z

ive picked the dates..
december 7th- december 14th.
and it wont come soon enough.

sevendueceseven @ 2007-11-15T04:17:00

2007-11-15T09:22:09Z

so im coming homing at the end of the month.
for a few days, not sure how long yet though.

when im there i want to go to disney world and islands of andvegers.
yes both.
which means i want to get a hotel.
have a party.

we are going to pick a day when i get there.
so let me knowif youd like to partake i my birthday/really really going away celebration.

(im calling it that cause i never really had a going away party.

sevendueceseven @ 2007-11-08T14:53:00

2007-11-08T20:00:58Z

ive written a few updates lately, but not posted them.
i feel like i want to get things out, but then when i see it written out i think its pathetic, and just dont post it.

basically right now im just going day to day.
no not living day to day, going day to day.
because basically all i care about now is getting my ass to florida before i leave for hawaii.
all i care about is seeing everyone who actually cares about me(that isnt family) and then leaving nc.

im going to be so sad if you arent there when im there. (you know who you are.)

sevendueceseven @ 2007-10-18T15:02:00

2007-10-18T19:21:17Z

so as long as i past the back ground check, drug test, and qualify for a MML i get the job.
but the guy said seeing has how i was upfront about my record, nothing is pending, and its over a year that im most likely fine. and to get the MML you just need a reasonably clear background and driving record. which i have.

its going to take atleast 2months to get everything done.
and then i just have to wait for an opening.

the pay isnt much more then im making now.
but when you figure you wont have nearly as manly expences, plus how much over time youll get its understandable why its not more.
i mean its a normal work week of 40hours. but ill be working 7days a week 8+hours a day(usually 10+) thats 70+ hours a week. so 30hours a week at time and a half.
the actually amount ill probably get from doing this 1 time is like is more then worth it. plus the experience both on the job and spending five months in hawai'i is the stupidest thing id ever do to pass this.
and if i do it atleast three times the 5weeks off between becomes paid vacation.

sevendueceseven @ 2007-10-15T23:45:00

2007-10-16T03:50:26Z

tomorrow is the job fair...

and im so nervous/ stoked that i dont know if ill be able to sleep.
i just want to be there and them tell me yes or no.
(hopefully yes)

fucking tomorrow is either going to pwn the fuck outta anything, or just end up being a wasted day.
hopefully the first one though.

sevendueceseven @ 2007-10-10T15:01:00

2007-10-10T19:18:09Z

this place is fucking hell.

if it wasnt for my kayse jones, and friends back in stpete that miss me so damn much(which i dont understand at all) i dont think i could handle this place.

im really nervous about that job.
like what if i dont get it, that would fucking suck.
cause i cant handle this place, and dont belong.
but i know that i cant afford moving back to stpete.
id have to work atleast two jobs, maybe three.
and having to pay for car insurance, gas, food, and rent.
i can just barely pay half my car insurance, half the gas for the car, and 200dollars a month rent now.

but if i do get this job, everything i make is going to be saved, since everything is paid.
4meals a day, no rent, wont have to pay for gas, im sure my parents will keep paying for my phone & maybe my internet, not sure about that though. ill still have to pay half of my car insurance, cause if i cancel it, and then get a new one later on its going to coast alot more.
so when i get back maybe ill have enough money saved that ill be able to move back to stpete.
and if dont, im sure has hell spending alot of those 5weeks off in stpete. and maybe if they re-hire me, after the second 5months, ill should have enough saved to move back.

i mean im more then qualified for the job.
but i mean there are only like 3000 jobs, and im sure there are more people more qualified then i am.
i dont know, im stressing over something that really doesnt make any difference.
its just sounds like an amazing time in hawaii, doing a job i actually like, living on cruise liner(for free) oh yea... and in fucking hawaii.
i just really want to do this, i guess thats why im stressing about it.

sevendueceseven @ 2007-10-06T03:39:00

2007-10-06T07:40:59Z

so fuck this fucking place i call home.

aprently my "friends" are no longer aloud to hang out with me..
because there parents say so....

fuck thhis fucking place, i need the fuck out now.

sevendueceseven @ 2007-10-03T02:50:00

2007-10-03T06:54:50Z

so i found out about this really fucking amaizng job.

where you work for 5months and get 5 weeks off.
its on a crusine line that is based out of alot of different places all around the world.

but basically if they hire you, you spend a week in training, and the go straight into the job.

the pay for your flight to where ever your training is, and for you to get where ever your home port is.
they pay for your food and rooms, and basically everything but cell phones and internt.

im trying to get based out of hawaii for my first assignment..
and they have jobs in all types of fields..
if anyone information on this shit let me know...

sevendueceseven @ 2007-10-01T15:03:00

2007-10-01T19:10:38Z

you know whats really lame..

people who make up bullshit lies to try and hurt other peoples feelings.
and who use things you have told them when you where down against you to also hurt you.
and tell you that your friends that live in florida probably hate you too, and that they dont 'count' as friends since they like 10hours away.

fuck that noise, a friend is someone that is there for you no matter what.
even if it is through aim, or myspace, or livejournal, or a phone call, or even a penpal(yea i said penpal, cause brob and are just cool like that, we rock the snail mail.)
and im glad to say that the people i do have in my life i know i can count on for all of those thing, and that any of them would be more then willing to help me when i need it. and i hope they all know im also there for them no matter what.